Wednesday, 10 July 2013

100 Reasons Why the Jeremy Kyle show should be taken off air

100 Reasons why Jeremy Kyle should be taken off air

  1. It would wipe the smug smile off of his face. 
  2. People would stop embarrassing themselves unintentionally on the show.
  3. It would stop reinforcing negative stereotypes about British dental hygiene. 
  4. The phrase "put something on the end of it".  
  5. His haircut.   
  6. The amount of repeat 'guests' suggests his 'after-care' leaves something to be desired.  
  7. He gets paid to shout at people.
  8. It's honestly hard to think of a worse programme on British telly.
  9. The show relies too heavily on lie detector tests that can never be 100% correct. 
  10. However, the guest is always vilified even though there is a chance they might be telling the truth.  
  11. Constantly interrupting the qualified professionals.
  12. Telling the audience to "get a job" for the 1000th time.
  13. They actually had a Christmas episode which resulted in Santa not delivering to Manchester in protest.
  14. Rude treatment of his 'guests'. 
  15. Telling the audience how good a parent he is.
  16. He probably bought himself the 'dad of the year' mug. 
  17. More like 'best dad in the world'. 
  18. It gets shown at least six times a day.
  19. He's totally unqualified and doesn't seem to mind. 
  20. Despite the fact that a lot of his guests are vulnerable.   
  21. Usually, he talks more than the guests. 
  22. He seems to revel in putting people down. 
  23. When he tries to appear caring it's cringe-worthy. 
  24. ITV might actually introduce quality daytime programming. (Doubtful.) 
  25. The full budget of the show could go to people who need help. 
  26. Because he pays taxes, as he legally has to, he thinks he has the right to ask personal questions about what people spend their benefits on.
  27. And then judge them accordingly. 
  28. The show has seriously run its course. 
  29. He managed to export the show to America. Somehow. 
  30. Reportedly, they saw sense and cancelled it. 
  31. The Jeremy Kyle show channel is a nightmare that could be realised. 
  32. They actually act as though the show is made solely to help the guests, which is far from the truth. 
  33. He gives people nicknames but won't let people call him 'Jerry'. 
  34. Taking half an hour to deliver DNA results. 
  35. He doesn't actually have any discernible talent, aside from abject cruelty. 
  36. He replaced Trisha, who dealt with people in a much nicer manner.
  37. People are constantly close to meltdown on the show. 
  38. It's a poor man's Jerry Springer. 
  39. They antagonise people, then send them home to deal with it. 
  40. Graham will finally be allowed to leave the studio and return to the outside world.
  41. He actually used to be okay way back when on the radio, before he started to believe his own hype.
  42. It's shown around the world, which is pretty embarrassing.
  43. The next generation of humans wouldn't have to watch it.
  44. People would seek professional help instead of going on the show. 
  45. 'Funny moments' generally involve laughing at guests.
  46. He has become a parody of himself, acting only as would be expected. 
  47. A lot of children have access to it. 
  48.  It's so depressing.
  49. Flipping from rage to calm in the blink of an eye which must be hard to deal with. 
  50. Again, his haircut. 
  51. Ranting about his own problems.
  52. The shows popularity coincided with the financial crisis. Coincidence? I think not. 
  53. 'Celebrity' episodes. 
  54. "You need to go on the Jeremy Kyle show" is an insult. 
  55. It would make the world a better place.  
  56. He has catchphrases. 
  57. The audience treat guests like scum. 
  58. Riling people up to breaking point, only to introduce their nemesis.  
  59. He then steps back to enjoy the fireworks.
  60. Anything in the name of 'good telly' eh. 
  61. With over 1500 episodes, it's lost whatever shock appeal it may have once had.  
  62. Telling people not to be violent despite the obvious constant treat of the massive security guards.
  63. If he got fired, people could tell him to get a job endlessly as a form of karmic justice. 
  64. His dominance over Graham, which is sometimes creepy.
  65. The programme seems to show no remorse for all the people that have been thrown to the wayside after filming. 
  66. The show makes my dog tense, (from all the shouting.) 
  67. Seeing everything in black and white, which can be dangerous.
  68. The way he pretends not to understand Facebook. 
  69. Then asks you to like his page on Facebook. What?  
  70. He may soon replace Paxman as the most famous Jeremy in the UK. 
  71. The show seems to be fuelled by hate and jealousy.  
  72. His fake working-class persona. 
  73. Getting shirty, then hiding behind the massive bouncers. Because that's how it works in real life. 
  74. The guests are actually real people that have feelings. 
  75. He would probably sign a contract with C5, which would be hilarious. 'The naked Jeremy Kyle show' anyone?
  76. Sometimes the worst bully on the stage is the host.  
  77. Years of hosting the show has jaded him and he treats some guests with utter contempt.
  78. Just because people watch it, doesn't mean it should be shown, I mean, the Hunger Games would get a massive audience.. 
  79. They could actually win more awards if it's allowed to survive.  
  80. His sanctimonious attitude.
  81. It hurts my brain, (for the wrong reasons).
  82. Public morale would undoubtedly rise. 
  83. He tells people what to do and if they object he flies off the handle.  
  84. He hasn't grown as a person since the show has been on air. 
  85. His 'attempts' at humour. 
  86. It would severely deflate his head. 
  87. It's what Jesus would do. Probably. 
  88. Dramatically pausing for too long while delivering DNA results. 
  89. Heck, all results despite it meaning so much to the guests. 
  90. It mostly preys on desperate people. 
  91. The adverts for new guests. It's always a good feeling to not meet the criteria.
  92. The way he says "well, well well" as if he knew the results all along. 
  93. Saying the name of his own show to assert himself.
  94. He likes to shout about things he doesn't seem to understand. 
  95. He has a family that has to deal with his public vilification. 
  96. It has 0% educational value.. 
  97. Getting hit in the head with an envelope wasn't in the best of JK special. Probably.
  98. The music that plays in the background that changes to match the 'tone' of the guest. 
  99. It should never have been commissioned in the first place. 
  100. Lastly, on a serious note, people can become 'infamous' from the show and attract the wrong attention. (Anything from abuse in the street to being set upon.)

Phew.. That was actually surprisingly easy. 

I hope you enjoyed the list, feel free to sub, comment etc.